Cirgury...

This is the word that makes the hair on my arms stand up.
I feel unerved whenever I hear it, can't help it.
My mom has been through cirgury today. Uterus removal because of a little tumor. I know it was nothing dramatic, really but... the thought of blades and needles cutting through skin... stuff going in, stuff coming out... It's simply not natural to me... but nevertheless necessary.
I'm still shaking like a leaf and crazy worried about her although I've already seen her and she looks just fine.

Maybe all this derives from a previous "grandpa trauma"...


(photo- flickr)

"I went into the woods...

...because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."

Henry David Thoureau


"Imagine wandering up and down the forest, without industry, without speech and without home..."

Rousseau



Most of the time that's exactly what I wish to do.
To just free myself of all the worries this "modern living" brings to your mind on a daily basis, to erase this "corruption" of souls and listen only to my own voice and what my heart really needs, to have more of what I need and less of what I want, to let go of a world where few have too much while many have nothing, to forget that I ever lived in this place where everything is turning robotic, hierarquized, emotionless, cold.

I wish I could just find a place for me with no civilization... where it could never find me.